Filipina in Agony Abroad
This is a true story of my Filipina friend who’s married to a foreigner whom she met online. It’s been a year now since she got married to a white guy. Her life has changed both financially and emotionally as a mother. Yes, she was blessed with 6-month-old cute little baby.
I know many of you may NOT agree with it (including me) but in one way or another , the foreigner has also a point. I actually heard some news about it – The Alleck Baldwin Mail Order Bride remarks that enrages Philippines and Filipinos around the globe.
Anyway, here are her agonies:
- My husband thinks our best tourism is the Filipina girls, and that’s why he came here, then he met me.
- He doesn’t want our kid to live here because streets are the playground of the children, basing to what he saw.
- Our politicians are corrupt; he kept asking me where our 12% vat go.
- He laughs at small shanty houses in major roads; coz for him it’s terrible to see.
- He never rides PAL, or sea ships of the Philippines .
- Those Filipino vehicle drivers are “Crazy” or “Boang”, no clues and never give way to ambulance.
- Hospitals are too far to be alive.
- That ambulance brings you dead on arrival.
- That majority of us live in 2 dollars a day.
- That everybody wants to leave the country.
- That government agencies is money greedy, he can prove it.
- That majority just eat rice and fish.
- That we fight with each other.
- That we do not produce anything, if we do no quality.
- That we suppose to have a very beautiful place but the government is busy in corruption.
- Homes here don’t have grasses.
- He wonders what country’s future be.
- And more
All these are present in his husband mind and there’s no way she can change it. He shakes his head to our Country. It’s killing her softly and of course, she’s hurt.
I knew my friend! She has been defending Philippines ever since. But according to her, his husband always give counter reasons and it just makes her looks-like a no clue Filipina too!
Are there any Filipina out there who got married to a foreigner or white guy and experienced this kind of agony to their husband?
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Her husband is right. No need to be married to a foreigner to see what’s before her eyes. Even though this is the 21st century – the Philippine’s concept of government is still feudalistic /paternalistic – the nation serves whoever sits in government. Those in the know would prefer to keep the rest of the islands in clueless like dumb cattle so that they could be continually milked.
In time, she will realize, see and receive the benefits, and accept what it is to have a functioning government.
I never felt the same agony since I totally agree with everything listed. Philippines need change.. and unless the people and the government stays blind about what’s happening, keeps convincing ourselves that Phils is still a great country, and denies about what other people sees, then we are hopeless. We need to accept that the negative remarks we get is just enough to make us think about what we need to do to change what is happening to our country.
I am more enraged with the following:
1. How she got herself married right away to a man she did not really know – you ought to be REALLY sure with picking the guy you plan to be with long term, not because he’s white he’s fit. That’s STUPID and further perpetuates Alec Baldwin’s mail bride notion. If I were her, I would have a serious talk with the husband to confront about how hurt she is with this Anti-Pinoy tirade, if husband does not put up with it, time to go my dear – he ain’t changing. He will torture you forever – might as well consider yourself spiritually & intellectually dead.
2. Fellow Filipinos here who simply submits to this IDIOT’s opinion and who think better of themselves by thinking so. Sure, our country & fellow Pinoys have our shortcomings, but where is this guy from? US? Europe? Middle East? Other Asian Countries? They’re so much worse, they just seem better than ours because of people like you.
3. The stink of despair being the tone of this article. What are you guys doing to help the Philippines and your fellowmen? Are you politically active (do you continue to participate in the electoral process/promote good things about the country/take part in global online initiatives/charities that aim to make our country better that we need not resort to leaving)? Do not give me the remittance to the Philippines bit, that does not count as it mostly covers only people close to you.
LodRose´s last blog ..LINGGO NG WIKA RAW!
hay naku kung ganun kababa ang tingin ng lalaking ito sa Pilipinas at tinatanggap nya yung ganitong pambabastos, hay naku she is now an emotionally abused wife. bakit nya pinakasalan ang lalaking iyan walang paggalang sa bansang dinayo nya pa para makakita ng ano uhmmm excuse the pun “pekpek” na pagsasawaan? babaeng uunderin gagawing rag doll? hay naku.
earthlingorgeous´s last blog ..Light Up Alphabet Log Review
siguro may tama nga ang lalaking pinakasalan nya at may dahilan sya kung bakit nya pinakasalan un pero kung isang taon palang sila at patuloy na ginagawa sa kanya ito nung lalaki dapat siguro nag-iisip na ako, kung sa U.S. sila nagpakasal makakakuha sya ng divorce at sustento dahil may anak na sila. pero kung sa Pinas pasensya nalang sya o titiisin nalang nya ang ganitong pang-iinsulto?
earthlingorgeous´s last blog ..Light Up Alphabet Log Review
This story is a real shame. I think that they both needed to spend a lot more time getting to know one another before deciding on a lifetime commitment to each other (and now an innocent child as well). They didn’t, so now what?
Even if what the husband is saying is true, he needs to respect the national pride of a native person in reference to her native country and especially his beloved wife, and hold his tongue. He may have stated a fact or an opinion but by repeating it he is only demonstrating that he is clueless and insensitive. His wife did not create the conditions and has only one voice to change them. He should vote with his hands and his back if things do not suit him. Plant some grass, paint some buildings, pick up some trash, build a hospital or a business – just do something, anything, besides belittle a proud person he professes to love.
Even if all the things he claims are wrong with the Philippines are true, does he spend equal time singing the praises of the things that are right? There are many natural gems, much history, and rich tapestry of life in the Philippines but the biggest asset of the 7000 islands are the people. I don’t have to tell him that, he married one. Now he has to grow-up, shut-up, man-up, and be a proper husband and father.
Thanks for the post. It is a topic that I am passionate about.
Be well.
Many foreigners including Americans never had an urge to travel the world, experiencing other cultures and being open minded enough to adapt and adopt other ways of thinking and doing things. I’m an American arriving here in Jan 1980 to go party at the Ati-atihan festival, discovering Boracay Island afterwards and the only place on earth where I felt so AT HOME that I stayed 4 months instead of the 2 months I’d planned to travel. After 2 weeks in Thailand I got homesick and came back to the Philippines again before needing to go back to the States after traveling nearly 4 years around the world. In the last 10 years my wife and I have become VERY EXPOSED to this type of lonely, horny foreigner who found companionship on line with a Filipina as we’ve owned a guesthouse near the Manila airports since 1986 and a beachfront resort on Boracay since 1991 welcoming a few thousand foreigners each and every year. We find MANY of them ARROGANT when judging the Philippines’ people, culture, government and way of life and almost racist which seems weird as they have chosen to marry a Filipina. I myself, ranted and raved about the failings of infrastructure and lack of business expansion opportunities here in the Philippines in my late 30s but luckily my wife stayed with me and by the time I hit 40 I realized the BEST thing I EVER did in my life was listen to a woman. And in recent years I have realized that maybe the whole modern G20 wealthiest nations and their people have MISTAKENLY chosen the rich but complicated and hectic lifestyles they are stuck with and the Malay / S E Asian peoples have GOT LIFE and their priorities RIGHT. I LOVE the Philippines and find Filipinos among the friendliest, most hospitable, most adapatable, most understanding, most resilient and among the most attractive people on earth. Bamboo is a good symbol for the Filipino people, flexible yet strong as steel! This American husband needs to REthink his opinions and attitudes or he may find himself ALONE again living in his USA “world” without the smiling, patient loving smile of his Filipina wife.
hey, it seems kinda late for me to make a comment about this blog but nevertheless, i should say that i agree with what the foreigner has in mind. It’s really hard to accept the fact that most of the things that he has in mind is true. i must admit,i dont know where the taxes are going. i can’t see no progress here. And i can’t really blame why people would want to leave our beatiful country.
But all i can say is, I am a filipino. I love the Philippines. I don’t care what people say about our country. For me, Philippines is just simply the best.
I am an american living in the Philippines with a Filippina girlfriend so to be wife. I respect the country and the people. That guys problem is not the Philippines. He is an asshole. Plenty of them in the US.
allen
I am a Filipina with a super understanding, sweet, loving, handsome American bf frm Ohio..we met in Japan..despite of us being different in colors and cultures we do not address the differences whatever our background is. If you want to find and feel love and be loved..there’s no color, there’s no race..it’s love in mysterious ways… We love each other so much and he enjoys my funny stories about home and he’s in the navy so he had been to the Philippines several times.. he loved the people and the place and the weather.. next year hopefully we’re going to move to Cebu and start a little business and get married…I want to delay the wedding coz I am still preparing myself to get married besides I am still young and enjoying singlehood..but God knows how much I want to be his wife..just not now.. I want to be stable financially coz I also wanna pamper my bf with gifts the way he does to me.. I love him so much! And about the article by the way…the Filogirl should junk that man.. she can do better!
The guy mentioned, did it say he was American..haha, didn`t catch it. Anyway, GodBless the Philippines for what it is, A place of cultural richness, great people and hospitality, and above all it`s unwavering “SPIRIT”. I have been to the Philippines Numerous times, had a couple problems here and there, but you know what? It was never with the people. It`s the Political philiosophy of exporting it`s experienced “Labor Force and Talented People”. If the POEA, or OFW and even the Government of the Philippines Fail to realize, is that They need to Build a solid infrastructure from within, with its people. They need to look within themselves, and look around, To the Government of the Philippines, Keep your people home, build the Jobs needed and quit taking Pennies on the dollar for the businesses u bring in and take money for. Take the outside money and Build, for to build in the philippines will Match, singapore and other Asian nations! Create the Jobs, Because the filipino are not lazy, they crave the work to raise their children, provide homes and a better way of Life..GodBless The Philippines…cause Manny can`t do it all by himself!!! Give the people a government or president they can really be proud of!!
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freedownloadrack´s last blog ..Nu:Tone – Medical History (2008)
i am a filipina married to american also, i admit we have some different insights about the cultures of filipino and i understand that we grewn up in such different world, but my husband actually respected the life of filipino people, as a matter of fact he really loves pinas and plan to go back there. i always tell my husband that i am proud of my country regardless of political issues.
Philippine is Philippines and he should bare in his mind that you’r already one of the beauty he took from philippines!
Politics is politics, women are women and men are men. First choose a mater your equally yoked with. Even if he has a valid piont it is no reason to be insensitive to the needs of his dear wife. As for Phili well My two sons and I have never been there but are outaged of the lack of concern by all. We understand the need so as of November we are relocating to open a home for unwed mothers, and to establish small business to help local economy and jobless rate. Dont talk if your not willing to be a person of action. Did that husband ever make any actions to help her family? My fiance is from Illigan and well she doesnt care about America, not all phili women do. Do they want support? Ahhh HELLO! what wife doesnt. Grow up you men and be the men God called you to be.
Love is the key! I am black american and my wife is pinay and we have a life together that many people would die for. Why? Not because we are financially well off or anything like that. It’s simply because we love each other for who we are inside. From what I read here, understand that married couples go through adjustment which is a common thing. Specially when they are from two different cultures. Time will tell who that person really is and how much they love you. So, before you decide to slip a ring on that finger, no matter how lovely that person is on the outside, realize that marriage is a life-long commitment!
TRUTH HURTS many times..i am so my co-filipina yeah it hurts but IT IS TRUE.. konti pa nga yan eh..a lot of more rotten truths about the philippines and it is not your fault dear Filipina! so why feel agony??
If your husband treats you second class or violates your human rights or abuses you ..that is a different story.. i will suggest get out of that relationship
and that is agony but to express the truth about the situation here is embarrassing pero it’s true eh!
mga police, nbi, corrupt officials …see what you are doing??kayo may kasalanan mga yan..so filipino don’t be like them..
I feel sorry for IGNORANT people like him. He came from a first world country and yet have a narrow mind. For the record NOT all caucasians acts superior. DON’T GENERALIZE.
Some are nice, some are just plain ignorant…